Her

 In that moment, she realized

It had been HER all along...

The Bird is Caged

 

As I sit down tonight

To write this song I sing

I feel like a bird in flight

Who forgot how to use her wings

Swooping along, out of control

Not knowing where to turn

To Hang on 

Or just let go…

What options do I have 

As I follow your lead

Forgetting about the life I crave

To let you do as you please

Patience and understanding 

Is all you ask of me

But if I sit in this cage

What kind of bird would I be?

Can we not learn together

To fly to heights beyond

Any place we could go 

Just being alone?

2-4-1996

You Always Had the Power

The chains are heavy

Your hands bound tight

Even your heart feels like a cast iron ball boring into your soul

Your back aches

Your mind screams in pain

Rage gurgles in your throat

For years, maybe your whole life, 

You've been shackled with self doubt, fear and shame

You've been told, or at least, heard, 

You are not enough 

You have allowed the actions and words of others to seep into your being

You've drug these chains, locked tight to your body, 

Until you have embodied the hollowness

You barely see the light on your brightest days

But the light is there

Will you trudge forward

Breaking free of the binds, the heaviness

Can you find strength in your heart and mind

Knowing you are worthy

Look around you

Dig Deep 

For you have always had the key to free yourself

You just had to believe

 

An Angel's Prayer

 With tattered wings

And tarnished halo

She sits crossed legged 

Atop of a rocky ledge

She drops her head into her hands

She weeps

Weeps for the heartache

Weeps for the pain

Weeps for the loss

Allowing it to all to flow through her

And down her face

The tears ebbed over the rocks

Down into the ravine

Forming a puddle, 

A pond

Then a lake of tears

How many souls has she tried to comfort

How much agony she has absorbed

Hearts she sought to comfort

She has lost count

The world is overwhelmed with hopelessness, anger and pain

Her tribe of angels are exhausted, battered and bruised

Fighting the resistance of hope, peace and love

She longs for those days

She will feel clean, refreshed, healed and energized

Leaving the sadness, anguish, sorrow and scars behind

As she held the last soul gently, lovingly in her tired arms

She felt a chill from their very being

She noticed her feathers falling to the earth

As her heart sank broken, shattered

Her body quaked 

Tighter, she held this soul

Hoping to squeeze the pieces back together

But the resistance prevailed

Tears cascading from her eyes now~

Growing the lake at the bottom of the ravine

Her mind racing to unearth any remaining hope

Left in this world

It has to be here

Somewhere in the souls of those who remain

Her last tear fell, as human pain was released from her grip

She wiped her face with her threadbare gown

Looking bleary at the horizon, once again

Then down at her earthen feet

Her head dropped in prayer 

Her knees fell to the rocks 

Her pleas echoed in the darkness

She clinched her hands tighter

She spoke the words of love and hope from her crippled heart

She willed hope, peace, love, joy and tenderness

To engulf this weary world

She squeezed her eyes so tight that, even they resisted 

But released one last tear to fall 

Her hands clasped her chest 

Her knees cringed from the shards of broken dreams that littered her perch

Shivering and fearful of the overwhelming darkness

She slowly opened her eyes

Then, there it was 

That tiny shimmer emerging from the peak of a distant mountain

She blinked furiously 

She sensed a shift

She felt the resonation from the other angels’ prayers

Hope, Light, Unity, Peace 

Was tiny and still very fragile

But it was there

She heard the chatters as the angels began to gather

The sounds of cherished resilient spirits

The darkness will begin to lift

The hearts will be begin to open to hope, change and love

Her heart pounded with elation

Suddenly, she noticed her wings began to bloom and straighten

Her gown rinsed clean

Her feet no longer muddy

Her hands no longer bruised 

Although the chill still engulfed her 

She could begin to feel the warmth

The sun emerging through the clouds, storms and darkness

Her prayers and those of her Angel Tribe

Have been heard, held and answered

The Human Spirit will once again begin to shine.

Your Becoming

 

It’s there in front of you
That dark forest 
The overgrowth 
The underbrush 
The weeds 
The thick pines and oaks 
Twisted and snarling your path
You feel the warmth of the other side 
It’s flickering in your soul
Guiding you through the woods 
Like a warm hand you hold
It is one step at a time 
One cleansing breath
One bit of letting go 
The one limb is cleared
The roots of that weed releases from the dirt
A gentle refreshing breeze caresses your skin 
The path slowly, intentionally and methodically emerges 
The grace of the other side is becoming less murky 
As you venture deeper into the woods
Letting go of the bread crumbs that led you back to the safety of the known
With faithful hands, you push back the fallen leaves and twisted limbs
Leaving them behind to hide that path to past trials and trails
It feels like walking through mud
As the journey grows longer 
Then you hear the gentle trickle of the stream 
Where you wash your hands, face and feet 
Refreshing your vision 
Setting your gaze
Stepping across the clear, cleansing water,
You see the glint of the sun 
You are getting closer 
Your heart pounds with anticipation 
You know you still have many miles to go, many trees to clear on this journey 
But each step brings you closer to strength, hope, love, happiness
Knowing that the only thing making this journey with you are 

The lessons
The strength 
The wisdom
And the truth 
That is authentically and only you
Continuing to stub your toes and trip on roots, you trudge on 
But each step gets lighter
And the light gets brighter 
You are almost there 
You can almost feel the glow from your heart
From your soul
This is 

Your becoming 
Your knowing 
Your souls desire 
Breathe it in 
With eyes closed and heart open
Embody this journey
This path
Let that light lead you to be whole 

In My Trembling Hands

I reached into my chest

I took out my heart

In my trembling hands

I squeezed, wrung it out

I let hurt, pain and resentment

Flow from the tissue

Allowing it to release

Onto the ground

I watched, with tears

As the earth absorbed the damage

Red, Black and Blue

Slowly seeping beyond my reach

I rinsed my heart with my tears

Noticing, as the pure white and gentle pink

Began to emerge once again

It has been so long...

Gently, lovingly and slowly

I placed my heart

Back into the center of my chest

The center of my Being

Then I saw it,

A glimmer

A flicker

A renewed light began to appear

Today, it flickers

Tomorrow, it will glow a bit brighter

Until that bright, white light

Shines to lead me ever forward

For Me...

 

Standing in my Truth

 I want you to know, I see you. I hear you and I am here for you. 

However, I can stand with you, I am there, except in anger. 
I have spent nearly a decade of my life in anger and fear.  I can no longer live in anger   It was slowly killing me. 
That is why I choose compassion, love, hope and gentleness.  This is who I am and who I choose to be. 
You will not find me standing in protest holding a sign. I do not judge those who do. I just do not feel this is where real change takes place. 
For six years now, I have dug my heals in deep, kicked and screamed, resisted, held on with all my might, built walls and lived an isolated life. But  I’ve also worked so hard to excavate that pain, and anger.  I have learned to recognize self defeating patterns and behaviors. I have realized how often I backed down and made myself small to lift others up and let them shine. I’ve done a lot of hard self evaluation and soul searching. 
Lately, my journey has lead me to a place, I feel, I am called to go.  A place where I can fulfill my passion and purpose and make a huge impact on future generations. That path is and will be paved with self love, compassion, hope, community, support and love. This is my path to impact the world. This is my calling and what will fill my soul. 
It is not in my purpose to dilute my soul to meet anyone else’s expectations or needs. It is my will, purpose and passion to fill future women leaders with the desire to allow this ripple to effect everyone they meet. That is who I am. That is me answering my calling from God, universe, however you want to define it.   
In this, I find my wholeness, passion, purpose and power. I wish to share this with the world.