Already Diving

I wish I could know

How it was supposed to end

Then I would know

Where, now, to begin

If you could see deep

Within my heart

Then you would understand

Why I am scared to start

To form a new relationship

With one, I believe, cares

Then to see him walk away

As if I wasn't there

Who would have thought

After all these years

You and Me,

We would be standing here

Facing the questions

Unwanting to answer

What will happen

When one leaves Asheville

You've become a part of me

That I don't want to lose

But, please, don't make me

Feel I have to choose

Between feelings and knowledge

It is hard to decide

When pain and heartache

Are still fresh on my mind

Try to understand

The way I feel

Like stepping in the water

That's not at all clear

The bottom is murky

But the top, inviting,

Right now, I feel, 

I am already diving

7-27-1992