Monday, December 14, 2020

You Always Had the Power

The chains are heavy
Your hands bound tight
Even your heart feels like a cast iron ball boring into your soul
Your back aches
Your mind screams in pain
Rage gurgles in your throat

For years, maybe your whole life, 
You've been shackled with self doubt, fear and shame
You've been told, or at least, heard, 
You are not enough 

You have allowed the actions and words of others to seep into your being
You've drug these chains, locked tight to your body, 
Until you have embodied the hollowness
You barely see the light on your brightest days

But the light is there

Will you trudge forward
Breaking free of the binds, the heaviness
Can you find strength in your heart and mind
Knowing you are worthy

Look around you
Dig Deep 
For you have always had the key to free yourself
You just had to believe


 

Thursday, November 19, 2020

An Angel's Prayer

 With tattered wings

And tarnished halo

She sits crossed legged 

Atop of a rocky ledge

She drops her head into her hands

She weeps

Weeps for the heartache

Weeps for the pain

Weeps for the loss


Allowing it to all to flow through her

And down her face

The tears ebbed over the rocks

Down into the ravine

Forming a puddle, 

A pond

Then a lake of tears


How many souls has she tried to comfort

How much agony she has absorbed

Hearts she sought to comfort

She has lost count


The world is overwhelmed with hopelessness, anger and pain

Her tribe of angels are exhausted, battered and bruised

Fighting the resistance of hope, peace and love


She longs for those days

She will feel clean, refreshed, healed and energized

Leaving the sadness, anguish, sorrow and scars behind


As she held the last soul gently, lovingly in her tired arms

She felt a chill from their very being

She noticed her feathers falling to the earth

As her heart sank broken, shattered

Her body quaked 


Tighter, she held this soul

Hoping to squeeze the pieces back together

But the resistance prevailed


Tears cascading from her eyes now~

Growing the lake at the bottom of the ravine

Her mind racing to unearth any remaining hope

Left in this world


It has to be here

Somewhere in the souls of those who remain


Her last tear fell, as human pain was released from her grip

She wiped her face with her threadbare gown

Looking bleary at the horizon, once again

Then down at her earthen feet

Her head dropped in prayer 

Her knees fell to the rocks 

Her pleas echoed in the darkness


She clinched her hands tighter

She spoke the words of love and hope from her crippled heart

She willed hope, peace, love, joy and tenderness

To engulf this weary world

She squeezed her eyes so tight that, even they resisted 

But released one last tear to fall 


Her hands clasped her chest 

Her knees cringed from the shards of broken dreams that littered her perch


Shivering and fearful of the overwhelming darkness

She slowly opened her eyes


Then, there it was 

That tiny shimmer emerging from the peak of a distant mountain


She blinked furiously 

She sensed a shift

She felt the resonation from the other angels’ prayers


Hope, Light, Unity, Peace 

Was tiny and still very fragile

But it was there


She heard the chatters as the angels began to gather

The sounds of cherished resilient spirits

The darkness will begin to lift

The hearts will be begin to open to hope, change and love

Her heart pounded with elation


Suddenly, she noticed her wings began to bloom and straighten

Her gown rinsed clean

Her feet no longer muddy

Her hands no longer bruised 


Although the chill still engulfed her 

She could begin to feel the warmth

The sun emerging through the clouds, storms and darkness


Her prayers and those of her Angel Tribe

Have been heard, held and answered

The Human Spirit will once again begin to shine.



Monday, November 2, 2020

Your Becoming

 

It’s there in front of you
That dark forest 
The overgrowth 
The underbrush 
The weeds 
The thick pines and oaks 
Twisted and snarling your path
You feel the warmth of the other side 
It’s flickering in your soul
Guiding you through the woods 
Like a warm hand you hold
It is one step at a time 
One cleansing breath
One bit of letting go 
The one limb is cleared
The roots of that weed releases from the dirt
A gentle refreshing breeze caresses your skin 
The path slowly, intentionally and methodically emerges 
The grace of the other side is becoming less murky 
As you venture deeper into the woods
Letting go of the bread crumbs that led you back to the safety of the known
With faithful hands, you push back the fallen leaves and twisted limbs
Leaving them behind to hide that path to past trials and trails
It feels like walking through mud
As the journey grows longer 
Then you hear the gentle trickle of the stream 
Where you wash your hands, face and feet 
Refreshing your vision 
Setting your gaze
Stepping across the clear, cleansing water,
You see the glint of the sun 
You are getting closer 
Your heart pounds with anticipation 
You know you still have many miles to go, many trees to clear on this journey 
But each step brings you closer to strength, hope, love, happiness
Knowing that the only thing making this journey with you are 
The lessons
The strength 
The wisdom
And the truth 
That is authentically and only you
Continuing to stub your toes and trip on roots, you trudge on 
But each step gets lighter
And the light gets brighter 
You are almost there 
You can almost feel the glow from your heart
From your soul
This is 
Your becoming 
Your knowing 
Your souls desire 
Breathe it in 
With eyes closed and heart open
Embody this journey
This path
Let that light lead you to be whole 


Sunday, October 25, 2020

In My Trembling Hands

I reached into my chest

I took out my heart

In my trembling hands

I squeezed, wrung it out


I let hurt, pain and resentment

Flow from the tissue

Allowing it to release

Onto the ground


I watched, with tears

As the earth absorbed the damage

Red, Black and Blue

Slowly seeping beyond my reach


I rinsed my heart with my tears

Noticing, as the pure white and gentle pink

Began to emerge once again

It has been so long...


Gently, lovingly and slowly

I placed my heart

Back into the center of my chest

The center of my Being


Then I saw it,

A glimmer

A flicker

A renewed light began to appear


Today, it flickers

Tomorrow, it will glow a bit brighter

Until that bright, white light

Shines to lead me ever forward


For Me...



 

Friday, October 9, 2020

Standing in my Truth

 I want you to know, I see you. I hear you and I am here for you. 

However, I can stand with you, I am there, except in anger. 
I have spent nearly a decade of my life in anger and fear.  I can no longer live in anger   It was slowly killing me. 
That is why I choose compassion, love, hope and gentleness.  This is who I am and who I choose to be. 
You will not find me standing in protest holding a sign. I do not judge those who do. I just do not feel this is where real change takes place. 
For six years now, I have dug my heals in deep, kicked and screamed, resisted, held on with all my might, built walls and lived an isolated life. But  I’ve also worked so hard to excavate that pain, and anger.  I have learned to recognize self defeating patterns and behaviors. I have realized how often I backed down and made myself small to lift others up and let them shine. I’ve done a lot of hard self evaluation and soul searching. 
Lately, my journey has lead me to a place, I feel, I am called to go.  A place where I can fulfill my passion and purpose and make a huge impact on future generations. That path is and will be paved with self love, compassion, hope, community, support and love. This is my path to impact the world. This is my calling and what will fill my soul. 
It is not in my purpose to dilute my soul to meet anyone else’s expectations or needs. It is my will, purpose and passion to fill future women leaders with the desire to allow this ripple to effect everyone they meet. That is who I am. That is me answering my calling from God, universe, however you want to define it.   
In this, I find my wholeness, passion, purpose and power. I wish to share this with the world. 


Sunday, June 14, 2020

Hungry Desire

Even the moon looks down in jealousy
As she reaches for her desire
Grasping the heat with her hungry hands
Using it to fill her soul



 

Saturday, June 13, 2020

Name It

Put a name to it
Feel it fully...
Embody it...
Experience the depth of it
Face it
NO! Really, confront it...
Battle it
Defeat it
Let it go...

11-14-18

Friday, June 12, 2020

The Sleep

As I sit here 
Watching you sleep 
So Peaceful
And so sound
I see you as a child
Innocent and sweet
Dreaming of
Faraway lands
I want to touch you
To kiss you
But I fear
You'll wake
Spoiling the 
Wondrous thoughts
In you sleep 
I smile to myself
Wishing I were asleep
Dreaming with you
In the peaceful deep

2-24-93

Thursday, June 11, 2020

The Space Between


She was an all or nothing kinda girl
But there was Darkness in the All 
And Blackness in the Nothing
This time, at least,
There was a little light 
In the Grey space between 

~2019~

The Light

Over the years
Our love has grown
To lead the the way
Like the light of dawn

Down this path
It shines so bright
Even if trees try to 
Block its light

Following along
We understand
The strength we bear
Walking hand in hand 

Without your love
The light would dim
The dark shadows 
Would soon close in

3-10-1995

Face to Face

After all we've been through
Here we stand
Face to Face 
Hand in hand

Your sunshine smile
Your warm laughter 
Will brighten my days
Forever after

You have made my life
Complete and full
Before you,
It was grey and dull

From this day on
I vow so true
My life is yours
I love you

3-10-1995

Add caption

Already Diving

I wish I could know
How it was supposed to end
Then I would know
Where, now, to begin

If you could see deep
Within my heart
Then you would understand
Why I am scared to start

To form a new relationship
With one, I believe, cares
Then to see him walk away
As if I wasn't there

Who would have thought
After all these years
You and Me,
We would be standing here
Facing the questions
Unwanting to answer
What will happen
When one leaves Asheville

You've become a part of me
That I don't want to lose
But, please, don't make me
Feel I have to choose

Between feelings and knowledge
It is hard to decide
When pain and heartache
Are still fresh on my mind

Try to understand
The way I feel
Like stepping in the water
That's not at all clear

The bottom is murky
But the top, inviting,
Right now, I feel, 
I am already diving

7-27-1992




Wednesday, June 10, 2020

True (5-92)

You restlessly sit and clench your fists tight
Erect, proper, silently thinking through
Words that don't come easy, clear and exactly right
Your eyes search slowly, my face, for a clue
Blue, green, grey, they turn in need of light
A light in the depth of my heart for you
I can see your desire to put up this fight 
Because it would be easy easy to make one of two

But we are nervous and too scared to try
Whatever it is we are doing here
Honesty, truth, sincerity is nigh
You should feel you have nothing to fear
Look into my eyes so deep down in the blue
and know, my dear, I will always be true


Dark Eyes (90s)

Your dark eyes penetrate my soul
Straight to the core of my existence
Telling me of a longing deep inside
Maybe one only I can fulfill

Your touch leaves chills down my spine
As if it were a path of ice
Slowly creeping down my back
Then engulfing all of me

Intensity grows with every kiss
You hold me tighter against your chest
I can feel every muscle of your body
Tensing against mine

Passion rises from your lips
To gently caress my neck
Slowly exploring each line and curve
An continuing down my back

Where will this lead, I wonder
As I close my eyes
Thinking, take me where you may
As long as I am in your arms tonight

Thinking and Weeping (90s)



Thinking thoughts
Feeling blue
Far from home
Nothing to do 

Rain is falling
The sky is dark
How I need 
A walk in the park

Thunder claps
At the show
The lightning gave
Before running to go

Trees join in 
The grand applaud 
With help from the wind
That may leave them bald

I stare from my window
Hoping to see
A glimmer of sunshine
A Happier me

How long will you weep
I ask the sky
He answered "Forever...
My baby said Goodbye"




Alone (the 90s)

As I sit here alone
I think of my past
Where has time gone
It just doesn't seem to last

Many tears have fallen
Many smiles were shared
I hear my name you're calling
But when I look, you're not there

Memories flow like a fountain
Come rushing back again
I'd climb the highest mountain
Fight the fiercest rain
To have your arms around me
Like a blanket from the pain

I have lost that security
That once held me close
To protect me from harm
And loved me the most

One day that all died
Left me cold as stone
Crying in the rain
Sad, lost and all alone

You picked up with your life
As if I had never entered
Buried our memories deep
Far from your heart's center

I will go on without you
For, I know, I must
I'll find someone to love me
Someone I can trust




Burning Desire (5-92)

Burning desire
Flashing pain
Longing lips 
To seal a fate 

Blood is swirling 
In the dark
Passions growing 
With each beating heart

Red, purple
Black and white
Feelings that are 
Too hard to fight

Your breath is hot
Against my skin
I know I will 
Indulge in this sin

Your hands on my back
Smooth and bare
Slowly moving 
Where they dare

My longing body
Overtakes my mind
Freeing our souls 
To intertwine


THE PURPLE SKY (1992)

A YELLOW MOON FILLS THE DARKENED SKY
A STAR GLISTENS BY ITS SIDE
MY HEART LISTENS FOR YOURS TO BEAT
WITH THOUGHTS FOR ME, THAT YOU SEEK

THE WIND TOUSLES THE TREES ABOUT
THE RAIN IS BEGINNING TO  STREAM DOWN
MY MIND RETURNS TO YOUR GLEAMING FACE
MY BODY ACHES FOR YOUR WARM EMBRACE

LIGHTNING STREAKS THE PURPLE SKY
THUNDER SHOUTS FOR MORNING LIGHT
MY EYES WEEP A SONG FOR YOU
MY CHEEKS ARE WET WITH MORNING DEW

THEN THE SUN WAKES ITS SLEEPY EYES
TO GREET THE WORLD FROM DEEP INSIDE
IT DRIES MY TEARS AND HOLDS ME TIGHT
TO WHISPER, "IT WILL BE ALRIGHT"


Your Hands (2/92)

Your warm hands caress my back
Exploring every curve
Slowly moving down my spine
Putting a tingle in every nerve

Your embrace is strong but tender
Holding my body to yours
Heating the dark with passion
Engulfing me into your world

Your eyes meet mine and lock
As they look deep into my soul
To see that you are my weakness
My desire is out of control

I can feel the intensity of your passion
Your hand grasps mine
Willingly,I answer your silent question
Allowing our souls to intertwine

This World

In this world today

Even the best intentioned efforts

Can be twisted to sound like hate 


Choices

Right there is the mirror
Look into your own eyes
Look Deeply
See Clearly

You There
You have the Power
The Power to Change
To Change Yourself
To Change the World

Choices from here
Determine How you get There
Choose Wisely

In Peace




The Sun

The Moon

The Stars

Even the Rain 

Followed her into the depths of the ocean

Sinking into the depths of the blue

Wrapping around her

Holding her safely

As She floated in peace

For the first time in her life

You Will Let Her





She was like a drug

Always leaving you wanting more

She could reach into your heart

Take hold and never let go

If you let her...

And, oh you will let her

A Look




A Look

A Smile

A Touch

A Need

A Desire

Untamed

The Passion was once Untamed

Then that fire was extinguished

But deep within her that ember still lives

Burning in her soul

She pours it into other things

So she does not explode

I Am Worth It



He reached for me

I moved away

He said he would chase me

Let Him

Because I know I am worth it

Just My Hand

Go ahead and take it

It is just my hand

Not the window to my soul...